Category: Alcohol

"My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?"

~~Henry Youngman

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"Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power."

~~P.J. O'Rourke

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Alcohol and calculus don't mix... Don't drink and derive.

~~anon

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"I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake--which I also keep handy."

~~W. C. Fields

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"You'd better be prepared for the jump into hyperspace. It's unpleasently like being drunk."
"What's so unpleasent about being drunk?"
"You ask a glass of water."

~~Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect, from Douglas Adam's *HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy*

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"It's always too early for beer."

~Pat Ray (my mom)

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"Rum makes me tired, gin makes me wanna puke, and vodka sneaks up on me like the Ninja Of Getting Hammered."

~~anon

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