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Category: Death

"On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero."

~~Fight Club

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"It's the thought that counts....until the fish dies."

~~Christine Daubner

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"Try not to get sucked into the vortex of hell, Billy!"

~~MST3K, "Megalon vs. Godzilla"

A is for Amy who fell down the stairs, B is for Basil assaulted by bears.
C is for Clair who wasted away, D is for Desmond thrown out of the sleigh.
E is for Ernest who choked on a peach, F is for Fanny, sucked dry by a leech.
G is for George, smothered under a rug, H is for Hector, done in by a thug.
I is for Ida who drowned in the lake, J is for James who took lye, by mistake.
K is for Kate who was struck with an axe, L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.
M is for Maud who was swept out to sea, N is for Nevil who died of enui.
O is for Olive, run through with an awl, P is for Prue, trampled flat in a brawl
Q is for Quinton who sank in a mire, R is for Rhoda, consumed by a fire.
S is for Susan who parished of fits, T is for Titas who flew into bits.
U is for Una who slipped down a drain, V is for Victor, squashed under a train.
W is for Winie, embedded in ice, X is for Xercies, devoured by mice.
Y is for Yoric whose head was bashed in, Z is for Zilla who drank too much gin.

~~Edward Gorey "The Gastly Crumb Tines"

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"I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street."

~~Virginia Wolf

"Fear accompanies the possibility of death. Calm shepherds its certainty."

~Dargo, from Farscape, "Family Ties"

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It's a hell of a thing killing a man... You take away all he's got, and all he's ever gonna' have.

~~Clint Eastwood, Unforgiven

Fidelis Ad Mortem -- Faithful Unto Death

~~N.Y.P.D. Official Motto

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"To save your world you asked this man to die;
Would this man, could he see you now, ask why?"

~~W. H. Auden , Epitaph for an Unknown Soldier

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"Thou canst not kill what does not live, but you can blow it into tiny pieces."

~Quake I manual

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"Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the show?"

~~anon

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"When I am finally alone in the shadow of my days,
I'll hear a Mustering of Aggies and the echo of my name."

~~Randy Hester '74

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"[Politicians] are starting to get like the deer. Cute at first, from a distance, but in reality, a terrible destructive nuisance."

"Are you suggesting we thin out the herd?"

"Oh my goodness, no! At least, not without a license and the proper tags."

~~The Futurist, by James P. Othmer

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"Now you will receive us! We do not ask for your poor or your hungry. We do not want your tired and sick. It is your corrupt we claim. It is your evil that will be sought by us. With every breath, we shall hunt them down. Each day we will spill their blood until it rains down from the skies. Do not kill; do not rape; do not steal. These are principles which every man, of every faith, can embrace. These are not polite suggestions; these are codes of behavior, and those of you that ignore them will pay the dearest cost. There are varying degrees of evil; we urge you lesser forms of filth not to push the bounds and cross over into true corruption, into our domain. But if you do, one day you will look behind you and see we three, and on that day you will reap it."

~~The McManus Brothers, from *The Boondock Saints*

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..."

~~Last words of General John Sedgwick

A raccoon tangled with a 23,000 volt line today. The results blacked out 1400 homes and, of course, one raccoon.

~~Steel City News

"It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune."

~~Woody Allen

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"Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be to eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends."

~~Gandalf, from JRR Tolkein's *Lord of the Rings*

"{holding up a human toe} "Is this the man that was killed?"
"Uhh, He seemed . . . taller."

~~_Lake Placid_

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There was a legend about how Sebatians once had a god called Tankebrue. Six worlds prayed to her. They built her temples, conquered worlds, and yet one day, she still went off and destroyed all six worlds. And when the last warrior was dying, he said, "We gave you everything; why did you destroy us?" And she looked down upon him and she whispered, "Because I can."

~Aeryn Sun, from Farscape, "Prayer"

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.

~~Pancho Villa, last words

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"Your levity is good. It relieves tension and the fear of death."

~~The Terminator, from Terminator III

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"Guns don't kill people. I kill people."

~~anon

We must love one another or die--That's a damned lie! We must die anyway.

~~W. H. Auden

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"Death didn't answer. He was looking at Spold in the same way as a dog looks at a bone, only in this case things were more or less the other way around."

~~Terry Pratchett, "The Colour of Magic"

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"I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing."

~~Anais Ninn, writer (1903-1977)

"He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death."

~~H. H. Munro

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"I'd rather die standing than live on my knees begging please no more."

~~Shania Twain

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"Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?"

~~Woody Allen