Quotes for tag "computer"

"The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents."

~~Nathaniel Borenstein

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Conjecture: All odd numbers are prime.
Mathematician's Proof:
3 is prime. 5 is prime. 7 is prime. By induction, all
odd numbers are prime.
Physicist's Proof:
3 is prime. 5 is prime. 7 is prime. 9 is experimental
error. 11 is prime. 13 is prime ...
Engineer's Proof:
3 is prime. 5 is prime. 7 is prime. 9 is prime.
11 is prime. 13 is prime ...
Computer Scientists's Proof:
3 is prime. 3 is prime. 3 is prime. 3 is prime...

~~anonymous

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The New Testament offers the basis for modern computer coding theory, in the form of an affirmation of the binary number system:
"But let your communication be Yea, yea; nay, nay:
for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil."

~~anonymous, referencing Matthew 5:37

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A Law of Computer Programming:
Make it possible for programmers to write in English, and you will find that programmers cannot write in English.

~~anon

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"The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against wacking them around a little."

~~Porterfield

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"Hard Drive: The part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it."

~~Dave Barry

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The General disliked trying to explain the highly technical inner workings of the U.S. Air Force.
"$7,662 for a ten cup coffee maker, General?" the Senator asked.
In his head he ran through his standard explanations: "It's not so," he thought. "It's a deterrent." Soon he came up with, "It's computerized, Senator. Tiny computer chips make coffee that's smooth and full-bodied. Try a cup."
The Senator did. "Pfffttt! Tastes like jet fuel!"
"It's not so," the General thought. "It's a deterrent."
Then he remembered something. "We bought a lot of untested computer chips," the General answered. "They got into everything. Just a little mix-up. Nothing serious."
Then he remembered something else. It was at the site of the mysterious B-1 crash. A strange smell in the fuel lines. It smelled like coffee. Smooth and full bodied...

~~Another Episode of General's Hospital

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"If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside."

~~Robert X. Cringely, InfoWorld magazine

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"If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing."

~~anon

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