Newest Quotes

"Don't worry. If you don't know what eschatology means, it's not the end of the world."

~Thomas Riggs

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"They did not know it, but they were tampering with the key to Pandora's box. The forces that they might have unleashed transcended any perils the atom could have brought. For the physicists could only have ruined the earth. The paraphysicists could have spread havoc to the stars."

~~Arthur C. Clarke, *Childhood's End*

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"You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."

~~Mark Twain

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"But what to those who find? Ah, this nor tongue nor pen can show: the love of Jesus, what it is none but His loved ones know."

~~John B. Dykes

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The biggest difference between time and space is that you can’t reuse time.

~~Merrick Furst

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"In love, as in war, a fortress that parleys is half taken."

~~Margaret Valois

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"I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it."

~~Steven Wright

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"Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy."

~~Albert Einstein

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(two New York cops sitting in a car)
Walsh: "Did you know it's illegal to give a monkey a cigarette in New Jersey?"
Shraeger: "That's why their monkeys live longer than ours."

~~The Unusuals, "The Apology Line"

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Amy: (Facebook status):
A nephew's coming:
Bruce Ryan. Make no mistake--
he will be the Boss.
Justin: (joking) Named after Bruce Willis,right? ;)
Amy: His first words will be, "yippie kai-yay mother!"

~~Amy Crowl and Justin Ray, Facebook, 2010

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"It is enough to make you wonder if it's better to be a perfect physical specimen than it is to be bright. If all the time you spent lost in thought has been a waste, when all along it's been easier to just run."

~Shane Hawley, National Poetry Slam

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"If you are going to tell people the truth, be funny or they will kill you."

~~Bill Wilder

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"All the suit-wearing world loves a geeky scapegoat."

~~Charles Stross, *Halting State*

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The first rule of apathy club is whatever.

~~C. J. Werleman

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Those that know, do. Those that understand, teach.

~~Aristotle

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